He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
