I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
