And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
my liver is dry heaving
Randomize
