remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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