Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
