Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
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