Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
and you fell through a lawn chair
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
