Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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