i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I'm at about main and main street
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
