so that wasnt chicken after all
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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