O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Randomize
