My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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