...so i touched it.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
