But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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