my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
