Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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