YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Welp...herpes.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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