She is in my trunk
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I've blown a few things in my day
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Randomize
