we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
My butt remains clenched, sir.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
