just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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