Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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