just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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