You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
