I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
time to smoke my breakfast
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
