Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Randomize
