They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
