is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
