I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
