All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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