When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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