she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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