just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
