i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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