Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
