My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
