Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
