yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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