She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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