Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
