how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
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I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
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Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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