im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Randomize
