Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
