i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
