I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Randomize
