Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
