when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
