It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
