I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
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