you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
