Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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