I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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