So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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