i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
tell me about the fingering
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