u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
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