70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
this hospital has no fireball
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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