My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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