I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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