Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
