i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I take back everything I said about communal showers
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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